Pigs, Pigs in bags, Pigs in bags in boxes: the Philippines, where pigs are packaged like Cereal. feat. DJ K-Chicken, Deep Fried Melodiiiiies.

You are a dancing queen, every day and every night, especially when squished coastwise into a hot jeepney with ABBA pumped at full volume.

The side trip was filled with decisions. We decided that Filipinos have great taste in music (i.e. autotune and 80s hits). We decided that the bashful dogs here are more like forest pigs. We decided that a winter lived properly should make you buff and tan.

We stayed in paradise on a river that brought to mind images from the Vietnam war. Can't argue with swimming against the current to a waterfall and being gawked at by boat cruise tourists. Our hosts were two Belgians, not waffles, who run a small travelers retreat near Loboc. They were adorable and a bit unsure of what to do with their guest house's success, and the obnoxious oblivious travelers that come with it.

The tarsier is a small primate that looks like a rodent. It has, however, the hands of a man. A small midget man with traces of Yoda blood. We made it to the best sanctuary on Bohol, but Kevin decided that he should accidentally leave his flash on and scare the adorable nocturnal buggers. The keeper was upset, but in his own reticent way. "If you give us your change you can make the Tarsier live longer.... Forever...."

Chococomplex has the propensity to make Japanese people sick. This is a completely unexplained phenomenon. Like the hills themselves. Mystery lurks in the nougety goodness. The Chocolate Hills are green, if you were wondering.

Happy New Years!

Titty Bars, Trannies and the Nanny Nanny co-authored by Kevin Pefianco Thomas

So it is weird to have servants, right? You grow up with them in the house and they stay around for decades. They become part of the family, but not really. They raise your children and cry remembering caring for them twenty five years later.

A word of advice to the adventurous traveler: when you see a girl that is not actually cute and kinda clearly has biceps, that is totally not a girl. But... delicious barbecue abounds, and you really don't have to mind the transsexuals while you are having dinner. Filipino men look really awesome in skirts, Kevin is the one exception to this rule. Exhibit A:

I thought Asia would be free of groping. Alas, this hypothesis was disproved last night. The perpetrator: what seemed to be a 10 year old Filipino kid high on glue fumes. Fabulous. The beggar children are really quite aggressive here. This was of course right after the strip bar incident. The only bar we could find on the strip looked legit from the outside except for the sign proclaiming that unescorted women were forbidden. And lo the inside was full of poles and bikinis. We awkwardly scurried out before we were actually inside, while the "bouncer" carrying a shotgun yelled after us in a thick accent "No good? No good?!?".

(Oh by the way, we are in Cebu City right now, on the island of Cebu)

After wandering more we came across a rather sketchy restaurant that served us "Strong Beer" which might or might not be the Asian equivalent to King Cobra. Exhibit B:

Chocolate Hills and Gummi Drop Mountains and small Asian primates to come....

Signing off,
Team Badger-Bear

Monkeys are like racoons, co-authored by Kevin Pefianco Thomas

They are cute at first but kinda vicious.

One growled at me to make me give it a banana chunk, but I said "that's not a nice way to ask for a banana."

The countryside in Luzon looks kinda like Nicaragua, but more Asian-like. That and Subic ended up looking and feeling exactly like the East-North Bay Area, right down to having a giant deserted US military base.

Let's not even get into the details of the "Rap Jump and Roll" show at Ocean Adventure. But Subic does seem to be filled with various adventures and encounters; Ocean Adventure, Beach Adventure, Sea Lion Encounter, Forest Adventure. You might have thought that penguins are Antarctic birds, but no, they are awkward tropical Caucasian gymnasts. Apparently everything in Subic is beyond EPIC.

We're not sure if your supposed to swim in the water there. Well actually you are, they charge you to do so, but either way stinging creatures abound. And sharp coral. It is the kinda beach that is fun, but only any good in comparison to the beaches in Oakland. We are lucky that we have not yet gotten to the spectacular beaches in the province or Thailand.

Tomorrow is NUTS HUTS.COM which is not a porn site. Nuthut.com is not either, you can order nuts though. The porn industry needs to get back on their game.

Much love,
Team KJ

Intro, Seoul, Volcanoes, etc.

Alright, so here's the deal: four months to circumnavigate the world completely. No set plan, no responsibility (except for keeping myself alive and avoiding concussions). I'm pretty much the luckiest person in the world right now, minus the jet-lag.

Seoul
Currently I am awaiting my flight to Manila in Seoul, Korea. I've been in transit for about 17 hours thus far and have another 5 to go. The Seoul airport seems cool. I watched a traditional Korean music performance and found a place where they have free laptop use (that's how I am typing, yay!). The toilets are oddly shaped and they have H1N1 checkpoints.

Volcanoes, oh noes!
One is erupting in the Phillippenes right now! It's pretty far from Manila but still...LAVA!!!

That's pretty much all I got for now.